Love is simple. It is the natural expression of our essential nature as spiritual beings. Love is the energy that spontaneously flows from one heart to another, when we are being who we are, at our deepest core.

So why does love seem so difficult? How is it that our hearts get broken so easily by being in love? Where did we go wrong? How can we reclaim that loving essence which is our natural birthright?

Love has become a complex issue because we, as human beings, have become so complex. We have lost touch with who we really are, and have been programmed, over aeons, to be other than our true spiritual selves. As a result, most of our behavior arises from the multitude of beliefs and attitudes we have learned about love and relationships, not from what we feel and experience as the truth in our hearts.

Most of us, unfortunately, are not at all in touch with what our hearts are experiencing. And even when we are, there is usually a stern voice within letting us know that we are wrong for what we feel. We have learned from our parents, as they have from their parents, that to trust what we feel in our hearts is not acceptable behavior. We have learned a myriad of rules as to how to behave, how to respond to others, and even how to love. And as most rules go, these are based on logic, on social mores, on expectations others have of us, not on what we feel is right for us deep within our hearts.

How many times did our parents give us a choice about what we wanted to do? Weren't we often made to do what they wanted us to do, based on what would make them feel or look good. We were never trained to look within our hearts and tell the truth. The truth was always far too threatening to those around us. It might have forced them to look within and question their behavior and motives. No, looking within was not part of their training in how to deal with life. [By the way, I want to make it clear, here, that I'm not blaming anyone's parents. They had their own programming which unconsciously influenced much of their attitudes and behaviors toward us. They, too, are innocent for being the way they are.]

So we accepted that in order to make it in the world, we had to follow the path of those around us — that is, to learn the appropriate rules and behaviors, and then do them to the best of our ability. In fact, do them as if our survival depended on it. That's how deeply ingrained our programming is. We believe we must continue following all that we've been taught or in some part of our subconscious, we're afraid we might die.

The mind thrives on the familiar. When we follow the path of the familiar, we get a sense of comfort and safety. It's worked for me before, it'll work for me again. I'll survive. I'll make it. I just need to make sure I don't change the way I do things. You see, change is very threatening to us at a deep level. Change brings up the feeling that we won't make it. It feels like death.

However, such change is only death to the shadows we carry around buried deep within the subconscious, the negative beliefs and programs which keep our true light from shining forth. So, in truth, it is safe to change. It is safe to choose the unfamiliar, which, in this case, is trusting your heart and letting love flow between your heart and another's.

In order to experience the simplicity of love and the return to the purity and innocence of our essential nature, we must bring the shadows forth and shine the light of truth upon them. We can no longer follow the rules that we once learned, and obey the programming which continually leads us to feeling separate and alone. We must be willing to re-think how things can be for us, and eradicate the negative programming buried deep within our subconscious mind which is keeping us from being in our hearts.

So, why is love often hard and complex? Because we have so many twisted beliefs about what we have to do and how we have to behave in order to get people to love us! Since we were not trained that we are lovable and okay for being who we are, we have developed complex, deeply-layered, multi dimensional belief systems that we have to be a certain way to get people to love us. And, that has pulled us further away from our innocent and loving essence and more into having to manipulate and play games in order to get love.

To have successful, loving relationships, we need to learn a whole new way of being, which starts with loving and accepting ourselves. If we can really make ourselves okay, then it will be much easier to feel safe with love, since that is who we truly are. As we feel safer with love, we can begin to drop the facades and games we have learned to play as ways to survive and cope in the world. Then we can come from our hearts and begin to give and receive love as we were meant to do by nature. We can reclaim the simplicity and purity that love truly is.